877206-plinton-curry-funeral-home

4 Things You Can Do to Sleep Better After Losing a Loved One

Wed, 24 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

When someone close to you dies, looking after yourself becomes one of the most important elements of healing. As you have probably discovered, the stress of losing a loved one takes a huge toll on your body and mind. Sleep deprivation is a particularly common experience and can really compromise your ability to make difficult decisions and cope with troubling emotions. Fortunately, the following sleep-enhancing strategies may help you rest more soundly and feel a little better during the day.

1. Use Relaxation Techniques to Ease Your Mind

First of all, try to make it your goal to relax rather than to sleep. Participating in a nightly sleep ritual can help to cue your body to slip into sleep more easily. Generally, an effective bedtime routine involves relaxing activities that make you feel calm and content. This could involve quiet meditation, gentle yoga, a hot bath, or sipping tea while reading a good book. During this time, avoid stimulating activities like exercising, watching TV, or getting work done.

Sleep technology can make it easier to reach a state of deep relaxation before bed. For example, some alarm clocks emit calming lights and sounds to induce sleep, while smart beds can be programmed to keep you cool and comfortable. Sleep trackers can help you discover behavioral patterns preventing you from getting quality sleep. However, sleep tracking and brainwave-sensing gadgets tend to be slightly inaccurate and may be more gimmick than helpful. Simply keeping track of your bedtime habits on a piece of paper, and noting how you feel each morning, might be just as effective.

2. Turn Your Bedroom into a Sleep Haven

After the loss of a spouse, being in the bedroom can worsen feelings of sadness and loneliness. The Adventurous Writer recommends rearranging the furniture in your bedroom and redecorating to add pleasant objects that make you feel calm. Even the colors of your bedroom walls can influence how you sleep. Try repainting these with calming earth tones and muted shades of blue. Just make sure you avoid bright colors, since these can make you feel stimulated. Also, if your bed is over 10 years old, it might be time to invest in a new mattress for greater comfort. While mattress shopping, focus on support and proper spinal alignment to prevent long-term back problems.

3. Try to Exercise Every Day

Getting moving during the day is one of the best ways to promote better quality sleep at night. According to CP Slippers , exercise combats stress and burns energy, reducing feelings of restlessness and decreasing the time it takes to fall asleep. Plus, physical activity can help you cope with grief during the day, thanks to its role in assisting mood control. Try different exercises until you find one that makes you feel good. This could mean sweating out some of
your anger through a long run or tapping into a meditative state at a yoga class.

4. Avoid Nighttime Snacking

Even if we think we are ready for sleep, our bodies really have the final say. The body is particularly sensitive to what's going on in the stomach—which is why our nighttime food choices can impact how quickly we get to sleep and how restorative that sleep is. Try to avoid snacking late into the evening. Foods high in fat, sugar, and carbs are particularly detrimental to a healthy sleep. Dark chocolate, spicy foods, and coffee have stimulating effects that prevent the body from winding down, while alcohol stops your body from reaching restorative levels of deep sleep. If you tend to get hungry before bed, just eat some fresh fruit. The trauma of loss comes with many complex emotions. No one can prepare you for how your own body will react or which actions you can take to feel better. This is something you must discover for yourself. Hopefully, these tips can provide some sense of relief from sleeplessness so you can manage your grief a little bit easier.

Expressing Condolences

Mon, 22 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Trying to express condolences to a grieving friend or loved one can make even the most articulate of us feel tongue-tied. While it may seem like an obstacle you can never overcome, expressing your sympathy and condolences to someone in a Westfield, NJ funeral home or cremation is doable.

For starters, social media is making condolences very tricky. Are digital condolences appropriate? In some cases, yes. If you are not particularly close with the person, a simple message through Facebook or Instgram is nice. However, be sure that comforting the bereaved is your primary goal, not making yourself look good by expressing condolences publically.

If you do choose to give condolences on social media or online, do so simply and ideally privately. You can also follow up with a note, text or phone call depending on your comfort level. Also, do not post about a death on social media unless the bereaved has done so first. The last thing you want is to force your grieving friend into an unwanted public conversation about the death.

Is social media not for you? You can also try sending a note. Send out condolence card immediately after you learn about a death. While a card may seem like not enough, support and attention is always appreciated after a loss.

If you’re at a loss for what to say in a card or even in person, its OK to stick to the classics. A “I’m sorry for your loss,” or a “my thoughts and prayers are with you” are always appreciated. As long as the sentiment comes from a sincere place, your words will have meaning. You can also draw on your memories of the deceased to make your words more personalized. Talk about how what you loved most about that person, as sharing positive memories is a very powerful action that can mean a lot to the bereaved.

If words aren’t your thing, you can also offer help to the bereaved. Be specific when you offer help, as people can be prideful and not want to burden others with their needs. Be proactive and spend that energy so that the bereaved don’t have to. Try saying things like: “I’d like to bring you dinner on Tuesday evening” or “I’m going to the grocery store and would like to bring you food. What can I get you?”

It’s also a good idea to keep in mind some things you should not say. Never make the death about you, so definitely avoid making references to your own losses. Similarly, don’t try to empathize so much with your friend that they wind up feeling like they have to console you. You should also avoid cliché sayings like “It happened for the best” or “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

Plinton Curry Funeral Home , located at 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, has years of funeral home and cremation experience in Westfield, NJ. We would love to help you in your time of loss. Give us a call at (908) 232-6869 to learn more.

Help A Friend Through A Loss

Mon, 15 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

It may seem like an insurmountable task to help a friend through a loss, funeral home, or cremation in Rahway, NJ . However, it doesn’t have to be. There are an almost infinite number of ways you can support someone in their time of need:

No matter what you do, you’re only goal should be making sure your friend knows they’re not alone. Grief is hard, but it’s survivable especially with help from those you love. If you want to learn more about how you can help a friend who’s suffered a recent loss, or would like more information on Rahway, NJ funeral homes and cremations, contact Plinton Curry Funeral Home. Located at 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, Plinton Curry Funeral home is here to help. Give us a call at (908) 232-6869 to learn more about what we can do for you in your time of need.

In Lieu Of Flowers

Mon, 08 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Sending flowers to the bereaved is a longstanding funeral home and cremation tradition in South Plainfield, NJ and beyond. However, modern grievers are starting to lean away from flowers, and are beginning to ask friends and family to not send any. If they don’t want flowers, what should you send? Use this list of ideas to inspire you as to what you should send to the bereaved to show support.

For more ideas on what to send to a bereaved friend, or to learn more about South Plainfield, NJ funeral homes and cremations, contact Plinton Curry Funeral Home by visiting 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090 or calling (908) 232-6869.

Choosing Funeral Home and Cremation Flowers

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Flowers have been used as decoration at funeral homes and cremations in New Brunswick, NJ for almost as long as they’ve been around. However, this doesn’t mean it’s easy to choose the right flowers and arrangements for your loved one’s service. Choosing the kind of flower you want and how they will be arranged may seem overwhelming, but this outline of the steps can help.

Flowers are traditionally a big part of funeral services, and the above guide should help you choose and arrange for flowers for your lost loved one’s funeral or cremation. The flowers help set the mood for the entire service, so even though they are ornamentation they should not be taken lightly.

If you want to learn more about choosing funeral flowers for an upcoming funeral or cremation, or have questions about New Brunswick, NJ funeral homes and cremations, Plinton Curry Funeral Home can help. We offer a range of funeral home and cremation services, and would be glad to use our years of experience to help you and your loved ones in your time of loss. Please pay us a visit at 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, or give us a call at (908) 232-6869 to learn more.

4 Ways to Get Help Paying for Funeral Home and Cremation Expenses

Mon, 24 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

These days, the average funeral cost is from $7,000 to $10,000. Even a simple cremation with no service can cost around $1,100. Its no wonder people worry about how they will pay for their funeral home or cremation services in Princeton, NJ .

While there aren’t many ways to change how much funerals and cremations cost, you can use the following 4 ways to get help paying for services for a recently deceased loved one.

PrePlanning

Check the deceased’s papers and information to see if they made any plans to help pay for their funeral. They might have put in place things such as:

Prepaying programs

Funeral insurance

Life insurance

Payable-on-death bank account

Any of the above can help cover the funeral costs.

Fund Raising

Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your community, neighborhood, friends or other family. You’d be surprised how quickly people will chip in. Get creative with fund raising like:

Car washes or bake sales

Church groups or donations

Memorial funds at the deceased’s workplace or bank

Crowd funding websites like GoFundMe.com or GiveForward.com

Social media is also a great tool to make your need known.

Government Assistance

Local, state and even federal government programs can help pay for funerals. Check with your local social service, county treasurer, or public fiduciary to see if any systems are in place. These programs have varying requirements, especially since local government budgets are tight and they are making such programs more difficult to qualify for. Be sure to double check that you are eligible.

The Social Security Administration can also provide assistance. Call to report a death and you may be eligible for a lump sum of $225 or other survivor benefits. Other federal programs that can help include:

Low Cost Options

If you still can’t get enough funding, there are tons of low-cost funeral and cremation options you can choose. These include:

Paying for a funeral or cremation is hard, and there is no shame in asking for help. Use any of the above ideas to get help paying for the funeral or cremation for your lost loved one, or get creative with more ideas of your own.

If you need more information on paying for services, Plinton Curry Funeral Home can help. We offer Princeton, NJ funeral home and cremation services and pride ourselves on our customer compassion and attention. Stop by our business at 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, or give us a call at (908) 232-6869 to learn more.

Smart Ways To Cover Your Funeral Home and Cremation Costs

Mon, 17 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

While it might not feel good to think about, one day you will die, and somehow your family will have to pay for your funeral home or cremation services in Irvington, NJ. Funerals , on average, cost $8,500. Just like any other large expense, you should come up with a plan to pay for it.

Most people assume they can just set money aside in the will for the funeral, but that generally doesn’t do the trick as estates and will have to go through probates that could last up to a year. It’s important to come up with other ways to cover your funeral costs, such as the following.

Insurance

Most life insurance policies will pay out a lump sum of money to a beneficiary when you die. This lump sum can go a long way towards paying for your funeral or memorial service. These insurance payments are made almost directly after death so your loved ones can pay for the funeral right away. There are also special insurance policies for death related costs like burials, funerals, cremations and more.

Payable-on-Death Account

Payable-on-death accounts, or PODs, allow you to set money aside specifically for funeral and other death-related expenses. Your beneficiaries simply have to present a death certificate to the bank in order to obtain the money. They will not have access to the money until after your death.

Veterans Benefits

If you served in the military you may be eligible for veterans benefits, including burial and funeral at no cost. The Veterans Administration will pay a burial allowance to your loved ones to cover funeral expenses. Check the VA website to see if you’re eligible.

Borrowing

Banks also offer loans specifically for funeral expenses. However, as these loans are personal and unsecure, they can get expensive. Interests range usually from 16 to 35 percent on these kinds of loans. Since the FCA recommends that you do not go into debt for a funeral, be sure to only take out a loan you can easily pay back.

Low-Cost Options

If you don’t have money to set aside right now, and feel like you won’t later on either, you can plan for low-cost funeral options. From direct cremations and at-home funerals to green burials, or even donating your body to science, there are definitely low-cost options out there. If you do plan to donate you body to a medical school or other institution be sure to enroll in advance.

Prepay at Funeral Home

Most funeral homes sell prepaid plans. You can purchase one to make sure everything is completely taken care of before you die.

If you want to learn more about paying for funerals or about Irvington, NJ funeral homes and cremations in general, contact Plinton Curry Funeral Home . We offer a range of funeral and cremation services and would be happy to offer any assistance we can. Stop by 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090 or call (908) 232-6869 for more information.

10 Signs You May Need Grief Counseling

Mon, 10 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

East Orange, NJ funeral homes, cremations and grief go hand in hand. Everyone deals with grief differently, be it taking quiet time away from people, seeking comfort of friends and family, or almost anything else under the sun. Grief also takes a long time to pass, maybe months or even years. But how do you know when your grief is getting to be too much? If you see any of these 10 signs in yourself, it might be time to seek counseling for your grief.

Loss is never easy, and we here at Plinton Curry Funeral Home would love to help you in any way we can. If you want more information on dealing with grief or funeral home and cremations in East Orange, NJ, visit us at Address: 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, or give us a call at (908) 232-6869.

Do I Need An Estate Planning Attorney?

Mon, 03 Sep 2018 04:00:00 GMT

No one wants to think about funeral homes and cremations in Edison, NJ , but its important to plan and protect your family in case anything should happen to you. An estate planning attorney might be able to help you do that.

Estate planning attorneys help guide you through the process of deciding how you want to divide your assets, gathering and preparing necessary post-life documents, and making sure your wishes are carried out after you’re gone. These lawyers are important because sometimes, without proper legal advice, affairs are left up to family members that are unsure of your wishes, or, in the worst case, might fight over the decisions. Estate lawyers can help you draft, review, and authorize important documents such as:

Like all other lawyers, estate planning attorneys charge fees. They generally charge a flat rate for prepping your desired documents and a per hour rate for more complicated tasks like handling disputes or carrying out the will. The exact rates depend on where you live and what caliber of lawyer you wish to procure. Be sure to decide on rates up front with your lawyer to protect yourself from getting over charged.

The questions remains, however, do you need an estate planning lawyer?

For most people, the answer is generally no. You don’t really need an estate planning unless:

If you’re unsure if you need an estate planning lawyer, it couldn’t hurt to get a consultation. Remember most lawyers do charge fees even for consultations, but sometimes peace of mind is worth the cost. If you have more questions about estate planning, or want to know more about preplanning for your passing, contact Plinton Curry Funeral Home . We offer Edison, NJ cremation and funeral home services, and would be more than happy to assist you. Visit us at 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, or give us a call at (908) 232-6869 to learn more.

10 Ways To Mark A Death Anniversary

Mon, 27 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

While grief and loss tend to lessen over time, the anniversary of a death is never easy. However, it’s possible to turn those painful days into moments for healing through meaningful acknowledgements. There are many things to do in memory of your lost loved one long after funeral home and cremations in Newark, NJ .

An anniversary of a death is never easy, but you can use one of the above ideas to help make your grief more positive. If you want more information about death anniversary ideas, or have Newark, NJ funeral home and cremation questions, Plinton Curry Funeral Home can help. Pay us a visit at 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, or give us a call at (908) 232-6869.

Funeral Home and Cremation Veterans’ Services

Mon, 20 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Working in the armed forces or as a US service member is an amazing personal sacrifice, and our veterans deserve our gratitude and honor in any way we can give it. One way we show our thanks is through veteran’s funeral home and cremation services in Piscataway, NJ .

If you or one of your family members served, it’s important to know about the post-humus benefits that are available to veterans. This way, you can be sure your loved one gets the honor he or she deserves.

Military Protocol and Honors For Funerals and Cremations

The United States has laws that provide eligible veterans with military funeral and cremation services honors. If an eligible service member’s family requests, the government must provide no-cost honors such as:

Is My Loved One Eligible?

Military funeral service honors are given to members of the United States Armed Forces. The Armed Forces consist of the Marines, Army, National Guard, Air Force, Navy and Coast Guard. The veteran must also meet one or more the following requirements:

Plinton Curry Funeral Home located at 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090 is honored to help memorialize and celebrate the life of your service member or veteran with our Piscataway, NJ funeral home and cremation services. Please reach out to us at (908) 232-6869 to learn more about veteran services and how we can help.

Helping Your Child Through Grief

Mon, 13 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

For adults and children alike, the grieving process can be long and difficult. If you’ve recently had to deal with a funeral home or cremation in Somerset, NJ , your child may be having a tough time. Here’s how you can help him cope with grief in a constructive way.

Be Honest

Kids are smarter than they look, so always tell the truth. Hiding information, be it about the cause of death, what happens after someone dies, or any other white lie, can build mistrust and prevent your kid from turning to you for support. However, keep in mind that your child’s age should inform how much information he can process at one time.

Use Simple Language

Kids can easily misunderstand when adults talk in abstract. For example, saying “she’s passed on” or “she’s no longer with us” rather than “she died” can confuse a kid. Instead, use concrete words to avoid confusion.

Be There To Listen

Kids often worry about different things around loss than adults. While you may be worrying about how to explain what cancer is to your child, he may be wondering how the deceased will be able to breathe in the box. Listen to your child’s questions, and answer them as best you can in simple language. Worry more about encouraging questions than having all the answers. Its much more important to cultivate a feeling of togetherness and support.

Watch Closely

Children don’t always use words to communicate their feelings, so your child might be expressing grief through behavior. Common reactions like denial, fighting, mood swings, trouble sleeping, or even physical complaints like headaches or tummy aches can be red flags to let you know something is going on inside.

Express Your Own Emotions

Your child will be more likely to express his emotions in a healthy way if he sees you doing it first. You don’t need to be strong or hide your emotions around your child. In fact, talking about your own feelings around the grief is a great way to encourage healing in both you and your child.

Allow for Ceremony or Ritual

Human beings gravitate towards ceremony or ritual in the face of the unknown; children even more so than adults. Allow your child to take part in a ritual or ceremony, be it collecting keepsakes, attending the memorial or funeral, saying a prayer, or lighting a candle. Ask your child how he would like to participate. However, if he doesn’t want to, don’t force it.

Maintain a Routine

Do your best to maintain your regular routine during a time of loss. This will help your child feel normal even in the face of all the unknown surrounding the death. School, activities, sports and even play dates offer a great way for kids to take a break from the grief.

Going through loss is hard, even for adults. Don’t expect a child to be OK sooner rather than later, and let go of any preconceived notions of what grief looks like. If you have any more questions about grief and children, Plinton Curry Funeral Home can help. We offer Somerset, NJ funeral home and cremations services from 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, and can offer extra support during your time of need. Please reach out to us at (908) 232-6869 to learn more.

5 Documents To Prepare Before Your Death

Mon, 06 Aug 2018 04:00:00 GMT

While it may be difficult to accept that you’ll due one day, death in an inevitable part of life. One way to make death a little less scary is to make sure you’re as prepared as possible. From making Westfield, NJ funeral home and cremation preparations, to gathering and preparing important documents, preparation is key.

There are 5 main documents you should prepare for the eventuality of your death: healthcare power of attorney, will, HIPPAA release, and an ICE book.

Healthcare Power of Attorney

A healthcare power of attorney (POA) document appoints someone to make your medical decisions for you if you’re ever unable. A POA is important for a variety of situation, from terminal illnesses and loss of brain function to temporary unconsciousness.

Choose someone you trust for your POA, and be sure to have all involved parties sign the document to make it valid. Some states also require a POA to be notarized with additional witnesses.

Will

Your will is a document that states who will receive your assets and belongings once our pass. You should always consult an attorney when writing your will to make sure it meets important criteria. You should also make sure your will:

You can also draw up a living will in the event you’re incapacitated in some way. Different than a POA or will, a living will lets you lay out your end of life wishes in the event you become terminally ill.

HIPAA Release

The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) stipulates that all medical records are confidential. So, if you want a family member to have access to your records in case you pass away or become incapacitated, you need to fill out and sign a HIPPAA Release form.

ICE Book of Important Documents

While an in case of emergency (ICE) book isn’t a formal document, it’s a major help for families to gain access to important documents when a loved one passes away or is incapacitated. Include the following documents in your ICE book:

Plinton Curry Funeral Home

If you need more assistance preparing documents, or want more information about funeral home and cremations in Westfield, NJ, Plinton Curry Funeral Home can help. Located at 411 W Broad St Westfield, NJ 07090, Plinton Curry Funeral Home offers convenient and compassionate services to help prepare you and your loved ones for a death, or to guide you through a recent loss. Call us today at (908) 232-6869 to learn more.

History Of Cremations in The USA

Mon, 23 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Cremation has been getting more and more popular in recent years, but where did it come from? And how did it go from ancient fires to modern cremations in Edison, NJ?

Early History

While most people view traditional burials as the more common and most historical disposition method, cremation actually has a far more ancient history. In fact, historians believe that humans started burning their dead as early as 3000 B.C!

Archeologists have discovered pottery shards and urns that show us that cremation started spreading across northern Europe, Spain, Portugal and the British Isles during the Bronze Age, or from 2500 to 1000 B.C. It wasn’t until Homer’s and The Iliad’s time, around 800 B.C, that cremation became the most common disposition method. While the exact reason why is unknown, many historians believe that cremations became more commonplace because of diseases and the growing number of war deaths.

By 395 A.D, when the Roman Empire was at its peak, cremation was widely practiced. Ancient Romans stored cremated remains in decorated urns just like we do today. However, early Christians disapproved of cremation because of Bible teachings and Jewish practices, so when Constantine made Christianity the official Roman religion in 400 A.D, cremations almost disappeared while traditional burial came to the forefront of the Christian world.

Modern Cremation

Cremation as we know it only began in 1873. An Italian professor and scientist showcased a new cremation chamber model at the Vienna Exposition. This modern take on ancient practices jump-started the cremation revolution on both sides of the Atlantic.

Dr. Julius LeMoyne built the first modern American cremation chamber in Washington, Pennsylvania in 1876. The second modern cremation chamber was in Lancaster, PA in 1884. Soon, crematories were popping up all around the United States, and by the year 1900 there were 20 in operation; a big feat for budding towns with few access to resources and technology.

Cremations really took off in 1913 when Dr. Hugo Erichsen founded the Cremation Association of America.

The Cremation Association of America

Dr. Erichsen stared the Cremation Association of America (CANA) as way to spread to word about this modern take on an ancient way of safely and hygienically disposing of bodies. The foundation was originally made up of doctors that were concerned about diseases spreading from whole-body burials. Cremation continued to bloom in popularity until the 1920s when it was scientifically proven that whole body burials, when done properly, were just as safe as cremations for the public’s health.

After that discovery, the Cremation Association of America switched gears and began promoting cremation not as a health choice but as a memorialization choice. .

Still a Popular Choice

Cremation has been becoming more and more popular since the 1980s in America and around the world. This rise is due to a number of factors such as cost, environmental concerns, creativity, religion and more. According to CANA, there were over 2,100 crematories in use in the US in 2009 performing over 9,000 cremations a year, and the number is still going up.

Plinton Curry Funeral home provides a fair number of those c remations in Edison, NJ area from both 411 West Broad Street, Westfield NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Ave Somerset NJ 08873. If you want to learn more about cremations in Edison, NJ or Plinton Curry Funeral Home, call us at 908-232-6889 or 732-469-3300.

All About Funeral Home Laws

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Most people are unaware that funeral homes in Newark and the rest of New Jersey have rules and regulations by law. There aren’t many states in the union that have funeral home laws, so it’s no wonder people from Newark, NJ get caught unawares.

Funeral home laws in Newark, NJ cover funeral home aspects from funeral directors and body preparation to transportation and more. Read on to learn more about funeral home laws in Newark and the rest of New Jersey.

Funeral Directors

By law, a licensed and certified funeral director must be in charge of a body’s final disposition. What does this mean? One example is that New Jersey state law mandates that the funeral director overseeing final disposition must file the death certificate.

However, just because the funeral director has to be in charge of the disposition doesn’t mean that he or she has the right to make any final decisions about the body or funeral services. In fact, the law states that the right to make final decisions belongs to anyone appointed by the deceased in a will, or family members if no appointment is made.

Embalming

Embalming is never required in New Jersey unless the body is going to be transported by a common carrier for more than 24 hours. For example, if you’re moving the body from Newark to a different town or state for the funeral via train or airplane and the trip will take more than 24 hours total, the body must be embalmed.

Death Certificates

A medical examiner or personal physician must initiate the deceased’s death certificate within 24 hours of the death as per New Jersey law. The funeral director, in charge of the final disposition, is also in charge of providing the burial particulars information for the death certificate. He or she must then file the death certificate using New Jersey’s state electronic death registration system.

Do keep copies of the death certificate on hand as you will need them before tasks, like transferring the deceased’s property, can be carried out. The funeral director can and should provide copies of the death certificate.

Transporting The Body

Bodies require permits for transportation to and from funeral homes in Newark, New Jersey or around the rest of the state. The funeral director can help get all necessary permits.

Home Burial and Cremation

There are certain zoning laws in New Jersey that might prevent you from burying a body at home or starting a family cemetery. Do check with your local ordinances.

There are also laws regarding cremation, including you must obtain a cremation permit 24 hours before the cremation is to take place.

Plinton Curry Funeral Home

Plinton Curry Funeral Home offers funeral home services in Newark, NJ from two convenient locations: 411 West Broad Street, Westfield NJ and 428 Elizabeth Ave Somerset, NJ. Our well-maintained Newark, NJ funeral home is here for you in your time of need. Call us today at 908-232-6869 or 732-469-3300 to learn more.

Funeral Directors and Funeral Homes

Mon, 09 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

People always hear about funeral directors in conjunction with funeral homes, but what do funeral directors actually do? Read on to learn more about funeral directors and funeral homes in Piscataway, NJ .

What is a Funeral Director?

A funeral director is a funeral rites professional. A funeral director is generally in charge of funeral home tasks including embalming, burials and cremations and other funeral jobs like planning, arranging, and even hosting the funeral services. Funeral directors most often own or work at a funeral home, but they can also be independent employees or contractors.

While funeral directors in the United States are not required to have formal training, meaning a degree or federal certificate, to work in funeral homes, funeral directors are required to have licenses in the state in which they practice. These licenses usually have a certain number of classroom training and practical hour requirements, and always have a test so you can be assured licenses funeral directors know what they are doing.

Some colleges and universities offer funeral director degrees and programs for additional training and experience, but the state licensing programs are typically available at vocational schools.

Regulations

Funeral directors are very regulated. In fact, New Jersey has funeral director and funeral homes regulations beyond the federal licensing requirements and training programs. New Jersey even has a special funeral agency that is devoted to regulating funeral directors, funeral homes and funeral services. This agency can act as impartial judges in disputes, but most often acts as protection for clients from corruption and incompetence.

Funeral Director Jobs

Funeral directors are in charge of funeral home jobs including:

Arrange transportation of the deceased
Train upcoming staff members
Prepare the remains (body)
Plan the funeral service
Submit paperwork and legal documents
Consult with the deceased’s family
Discuss and plan funerals with people who wish to arrange their own service in advance

Funeral directors are, in the most broken down sense, all about the logistics of funeral services at funeral homes. They work with families to make funeral service decisions like location, date, and time and more small details such as burial or cremation, flowers, and even obituary writing.

However, a funeral director’s most important task is helping the family fill out and file all the necessary paperwork that comes with a death. Funeral directors can also help families notify insurance agencies or even the government for veteran’s benefits.

Plinton Curry Funeral Home

Plinton Curry Funeral Home , located at 411 West Broad Street Westfield, NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Ave Somerset NJ 08873, has a full staff of licensed, experienced and compassionate funeral directors in Piscataway, NJ ready to help you and your family in your time of need.

We are fully licensed, insured, and trained so you can count on us to be the funeral home you can rely on.

Call us today at 908-232-6889 or 732-469-3300 to learn more about our funeral directors and funeral homes in Piscataway, NJ.

All About Direct Cremations

Mon, 02 Jul 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Did you know that “cremation” is actually a broad term that encompasses lots of different methods, niches and types? Its true! Just like “whiskey” can mean bourbon or rye, cremation can refer to other types. One such type is direct cremation.

Direct cremation is a disposition method in which the deceased’s body is cremated almost immediately following death without a funeral or memorial beforehand. Direct cremation is usually known as a more inexpensive disposition method, but it has other benefits as well. Read on to learn more about direct cremations in Westfield, NJ.

Who, What, Where, When and Why

In direct cremation the body is cremated right after the death, meaning that the body is cremated without any sort of funeral or memorial first. Oftentimes families choose to use a crematory rather than a funeral home for a direct cremation to save money, many funeral homes do offer cost effective direct cremations.

There is no visitation, wake or viewing with a direct cremation as the body is cremated right away. This allows the family to skip embalming to save money and be more eco-friendly. Family, loved ones, or executors can also choose to have the body cremated in a simple container, rather than a traditional and more expensive casket, as there is no need for ornamentation for a viewing or service.

Just because there is no service right away doesn’t mean that direct cremation in Westfield, NJ disallows any service at all. In fact, direct cremations allow the family to plan a memorial service at a later date, which makes scheduling flexibility easier so more people can attend. Also, a longer timeline means even more time to plan a personalized and unique service.

New Jersey and the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule protect consumers who choose direct cremation. Your direct cremation rights include:

You are not required to purchase or use a casket
The crematory or funeral home must furnish a wood box or alternate container for the direct cremation
The funeral home or crematory must return the remains to you in an urn provided by yourself. If you do not provide and urn, they will return the remains to you in a basic container.

Planning Direct Cremations in Westfield, NJ

Typically, crematory or funeral home staff take care of all direct cremation aspects. This includes transporting the body to the crematory and completing a death certificate form.

Take care to plan for what you’re doing with the cremated remains after the direct cremation. There are almost countless options, from burying them in a crematory plot, columbarium, or pre-determined cemetery to scattering or making memorial jewelry.

In Conclusion

Direct cremation is a valid option, and is especially desirable if you are looking to avoid extra cremation or funeral costs like preparing the body, casket, extensive transportation, or funeral services. Some funeral homes and crematories also charge lower basic service fees for direct cremation to save you even more money.

Plinton Curry Funeral Home offers a myriad of cremation services in Westfield, NJ from two locations: 411 West Broad Street Westfield NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Ave Somerset NJ 08873. Contact us today to learn more about direct cremation and our Westfield, NJ cremations at 908-232-6869 or 732-469-3300.

How to Help a Senior Loved One Make Financial Decisions After the Loss of a Spouse

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

When a loved one dies, there are a lot of complicated feelings and responsibilities that must be handled. For the individual who is left after a spouse passes away, there are so many things to think about that it can be overwhelming. One of the most stressful things a senior must deal with after a spouse dies is figuring out financial details and how to move on, especially if the loss came unexpectedly.

Fortunately, there are several things you can do to help your loved one get a handle on their finances and make good decisions that will help them move on carefully and safely. Knowing what to expect is important, and this can mean anything from helping with funeral arrangements or going through documents to figuring out the details of insurance policies.

Keep reading to find out how to help your senior loved one make financial decisions after the loss of a spouse.

Find Out If There Were Plans in Place

While no one can prepare for the death of a spouse, many couples do have a plan in place in the event of such a loss, whether it’s a life insurance plan that will help pay for the funeral expenses or a burial plot that’s already paid for. Talk to your loved one about what kind of plans they may have made with their loved one so both of you can get a good idea of what sort of costs they’ll incur.

Take Care of the Most Important Things First

The last thing your loved one needs to worry about during such a difficult time is how to pay for big expenses weeks or months down the road, so help them take care of only the most important things first. Bills that are due right away, mortgage payments, and funeral arrangements are the most pressing expenses; everything else can wait.

Discourage Opening Up New Lines of Credit

After losing a spouse, some individuals might be tempted to open up new lines of credit in order to secure a backup plan for the future, but credit cards can actually end up causing more trouble in the long run. Discourage your loved one from opening up new credit cards, and go over their budget with them to see if there are places they can save money, such as trading in the car for something smaller or making the home more eco-friendly to reduce utility bills. You might encourage your loved one to seek the help of a financial planner if they are worried about their retirement funds; go here for more information on how to get started.

Get Paperwork Together

The time directly following the loss of a spouse can be a blur, and it’s hard to remember everything that needs to be done. Help your loved one by obtaining at least 20 copies of the death certificate, which will be necessary for the life insurance company, the social security office, and the bank or other financial institution where joint accounts are held. Getting all the important paperwork together and keeping these documents in a safe place is imperative and will help your loved one stay organized during an extremely hard time.

Helping someone you care about get through a devastating loss can be difficult for you, too, so it’s important to take care of yourself during this time. Reduce stress as much as possible for both you and your loved one, and stay organized to prevent anxiety. With the right plan , you can help make things a little easier during a heartbreaking time.

Personalized Cremations

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

While cremations are becoming more and more popular, the main thing that’s holding people back from choosing this cost effective, eco-friendly and convenient disposition method is believed lack of personalization. A common misconception is that once your loved one is cremated, you won’t have a chance to hold a service or memorial. However, personalized cremations are not only possible, they’re easy. Cremations offer numerous alternatives to traditional funeral services so you can have a personalized and special memorial for your lost loved one in Irvington, NJ.

Cremations can be personalized in lots of ways, including:

After The Cremation

You can continue to personalize and honor the deceased’s memory long after the cremation by hosting a scattering ceremony or a burial service to send your loved one to the final resting place. You can also send up balloons on special anniversaries, or even choose a less traditional way to house the cremated remains like customized jewelry, glass displays, or memorial trees.

Plinton Curry Funeral Home

No matter what you decide for your loved one’s cremation, Plinton Curry Funeral Home is here to help. We provide affordable cremation service in Irvington, NJ through our two locations: 411 West Broad Street, Westfield, NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Ave Somerset, NJ 08873. Please give us a call at 908-232-6869 or 732-469-3300 to learn more about cremations and how to best personalize the event for you and your family.

Laws Regarding Cremations

Mon, 18 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Cremations are quickly coming into the forefront of American culture and are definitely growing in popularity. As cremations become more popular, people have lots of questions about cremation laws.

We here at Plinton Curry Funeral Home want to make sure all our customers have a complete and thorough understanding of their rights and responsibilities when it comes to cremations. This way, you as a consumer know we follow all laws and provide high quality, reliable and compassionate cremations.

So read on to learn more about laws regarding cremations.

Authorizations, Permits and Licenses

There are laws that require a next of kin or authorizing agent to authorize a cremation before it can take place. Cremation providers must have a completed authorization form before any cremations.

You will also need a cremation permit before the cremation. They are issued by local government and usually cost between $10 and $40.

Cremation providers need documents too! Licensed and certified cremation providers have to follow special rules and important regulations to follow safety guidelines and provide consumer protection.

There are more laws about body transportation and other cremation-related things. For example, you can transport a body across state lines for cremations, however if the travel will take over 24 hours, embalming is required. Or if the transportation is via plane, you will have to provide or purchase a designated aircraft mortuary-shipping container.

Merchandise and Post-Cremation

While you are not required to purchase any special products for cremation, you must have a cremation box or casket for cremation. While you are more than welcome to purchase a special or elaborate box, you can also use a simple container provided by the cremation business. There aren’t any other required purchases for cremations, but there are products you can choose to purchase if you desire.

Similarly, there are also some laws regarding what you can or cannot do with the remains after cremation. For example, many states prohibit scattering ashes in public places without special permissions or mixing cremated remains with those of another person. Be sure to check your local state laws.

Cremation costs are also highly regulated. Crematories and funeral homes that offer cremations are required to provide clear and concise descriptions of all services included each cremation price, as people who gave recently suffered a loss might be more susceptible to bad business practices. While cremations range in cost from $450 to up to $5,000, depending on the service and merchandise, the basics in what’s offered are similar and regulated.

Funeral homes and crematories are also prohibited from making false or exaggerated statements about merchandise or body guarantees.

Plinton Curry Funeral Home

Plinton Curry Funeral Home features two locations: 411 West Broad Street, Westfield NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Ave, Somerset NJ 08873. Each location is convenient for cremations in South Plainfield, NJ . We here at Plinton Curry Funeral Home are all about clear and honest service, so if you have any questions about cremation laws, or simply want to learn more about how we can help you and your family, give us a call at 908-232-6869 or 732-469-3300.

Funeral Homes and Grief

Mon, 18 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Funeral homes are a big part of the American funeral tradition for a reason: they offer helpful services in planning and executing funerals so families can heal and move forward.

Funeral homes offer five main benefits when it comes to grief:

Meaningful Funerals at Funeral Homes

Just throwing together any old funeral might not have all of those 5 benefits, and lots of people worry that having a funeral in a funeral home will mean a cookie-cutter ceremony without any heart. However, with the right thought and planning, you can easily host a meaningful and personalized funeral in a funeral home. When planning funerals, you must take time to remember, reflect and carefully choose what pieces, events and moments will make your loved one’s funeral meaningful for both you and the deceased.

Make the funeral home service a unique and special tribute to the deceased. How do you do this? The sky’s the limit. Meaningful funeral home funerals can have lots of different aspects, from music and poems to flowers, photos, attendees and almost everything in between. As long as the funeral’s components are representative of the deceased’s life and impact, the funeral home will transform into a special place of memorialization.

In Conclusion

A funeral is a key part of the healing process after a loss and can be a positive influence on your ability to move forward after a death. Working with a compassionate, professional and experienced funeral home in Princeton, NJ can help you with planning a meaningful funeral, and Plinton Curry Funeral Home will do just that. Visit one of our two locations near Princeton, NJ: 411 West Broad Street, Westfield, NJ 07090 or 428 Elizabeth Ave. Somerset, NJ 08873 or give us a call at 732-469-3300 or 908-232-6869 to learn more.

Funeral Home Etiquette

Mon, 11 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Funeral homes can be culturally intimidating. They require a lot of social aptitude and careful navigation, and necessitate lots of understanding about traditions and social constructs. This is hard enough in everyday situations, but when death and loss are tossed in the mix, it can feel almost impossible.

This doesn’t have to be the case. There are a few simple rules you can keep in mind when going to a funeral home in Rahway, NJ to make sure you are respectful of the proceedings and family members. Keep reading to learn more about funeral home etiquette.

In Conclusion

Everything above is a guideline and doesn’t necessarily apply to every funeral home experience. Always use your best judgment, and when unsure simply follow the family’s lead. When in doubt, lean towards being conservative side as that’s always a safe bet.

If you have any more questions about funeral home etiquette, especially in Rahway, NJ, you can reach out to Plinton Curry Funeral Home at 908-232-6869 or 732-469-3300. You can also visit one of our two locations: 411 West Broad Street, Westfield NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Ave, Somerset NJ 08873.

Funeral Home Tips: Helping Your Grieving Friend

Mon, 04 Jun 2018 04:00:00 GMT

Most people don’t know how to act around death and those suffering from a loss. Be the best friend you can be to a grieving loved one in any Piscataway, NJ funeral home by using the following tips to help a grieving friend.

1) Make a Connection : It may feel simpler or more respectful to give a grieving friend space, but they actually need even more intimacy and support. A hug, kind word, or a supportive presence can go a long way.

2) Empathize and Share : It can be comforting to hear similar bereavement stories; so don’t be afraid to talk about your own loss. Just don’t dominate the conversation with your story.

3) Don’t Talk About A Dead Pet : Do NOT compare their loss to your loss of a pet.

4) Let the Tears Flow : Expressing grief, like crying, is an important part of healing. Allow your friend to cry if he needs to, and just be there offering a hug or tissues, or even just a calming presence.

5) Keep Going : Grief doesn’t stop after the bereaved leave the funeral home; so neither should your support. Follow up in the coming weeks and months. A quick phone call, text or email is meaningful.

6) Help Out : Continue the support by offering help with everyday tasks. Grief can make even the smallest tasks impossible, so offering to do things like grocery shopping, cooking a meal, or mowing the lawn is a wonderful help.

7) Help With the Funeral : It can be hard to plan and host a funeral; so helping out is a great way to show love and support. Even a small thing like bringing flowers or offering to go with them to sign the death certificate can make a big difference.

8) Leave Religion Out of It : Try not to mention religion unless the bereaved do first. Everyone has different religious beliefs, and you can easily accidentally offend, especially when nerves are short at the funeral home.

9) Laugh : Don’t be afraid of making them laugh. Tell happy memories of the deceased or enjoyable anecdotes to provide a different kind of emotional release.

10) Talk About the Deceased : Don’t be afraid to talk about the deceased. It will help to know that the deceased isn’t gone from everyone’s thoughts and memories.

11) Don’t Forget : Take note of important dates like birthdays or anniversaries and be sure to reach out around those times, as grief doesn’t stop when it’s convenient.

12) Remind Them They’re Not Alone : Be sure to mention that you understand the grieving process is lengthy and that you will be there as long as they need you.

Plinton Curry Funeral Home

Plinton Curry Funeral Home has two locations: 411 West Broad Street, Westfield NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Street, Somerset NJ 08873. Each location is convenient for Piscataway, NJ access so we can provide superior funeral home services for you and your family.

If you want more information about what we do and how we can help, give us a call at 908-232-6869 or 732-469-3300.

Terms You Should Know for Cremations

Mon, 28 May 2018 04:00:00 GMT

The following is a list of cremation terms that are important to know for a basic understanding of cremation so you can be better prepared when faced with a loss.

Cremation : The process of heating human remains into bone fragments and gas as a method of speeding decomposition.

Crematorium : The building that houses the cremation chamber. They can be single service buildings, or multi-purpose facilities that offer services for cremations and funerals.

Cremation Chamber : A small room or enclosure built to stand up to intense temperatures, usually lined with tile or brick, where the cremation takes place.

Cremation Container : A type of case or container in which the body is cremated. Made from commutable materials, these boxes are rigid for easy handling and big enough to enclose the entire body.

Memorialization : This is a general term referring to what is done with the remains after cremation. Some common options are interring the remains in a columbarium or family cemetery, scattering, tree planting, and interment.

Urn : Urns are traditional receptacles for cremated remains. They come in almost limitless shapes and sizes and can be personalized in almost any way. Urns can be whatever you can dream up, from glass, wood and bronze to golf ball shaped, engraved and more.

Cremation Box : Families can purchase urns for the remains. If they chose not to, the crematorium provides a simple container in which to house the remains

Niche : In terms of cremations, niches are recessed spaces built to hold cremation urns or cremation boxes filled with cremated remains. They can be found in columbarium or mausoleums.

Columbarium : A columbarium is a building or space made to house cremated remains in niches. They are permanent structures and are typically built out of marble, concrete, brick or stone. You can also sometimes find columbarium outdoors or in a garden.

Scattering Garden : An outdoor area specifically set aside for cremated remains to be scattered. A common space, the remains are mixed in the soil. You can find scattering gardens in some cemeteries.

Interment : Placing cremated remains in an urn or other container permanently. The urn is then housed in a columbarium, mausoleum or displayed somewhere else.

Cremated Remains : Cremated remains are not ashes; they are actually pulverized bone fragments reduced to ash size in a special machine. The bone fragments left after cremation are cooled, then placed in the grinder.

Direct Cremation : A type of cremation service in which the body is cremated directly after death without embalming, viewing, or a funeral service. Direct cremation prices are usually flat rates and include transportation for the body from the place of death to the crematory or funeral home.

Plinton Curry Funeral Home

Plinton Curry Funeral Home at 411 West Broad Street, Westfield NJ 07090 offers superior cremation services in Westfield, NJ area. We are committed to helping you through your time of loss, be it through cremation or simply by providing information. Call us today at 908-232-6869 to learn more.

Funeral Home History

Mon, 21 May 2018 04:00:00 GMT

There are a lot of funeral homes in Newark, NJ , but where did they all come from?

No one hears about funeral homes in history class, but funeral home history is actually quite interesting!

It All Starts With Embalming

Back in the day, before the mid 1800s, people didn’t go that far from home. So when they died, their bodies were displayed in the family home’s front room, or parlor, until it was time for burial. Since there wasn’t any delay from death to display to burial, the bodies didn’t need any sort of preservation. In fact, this tradition of hosting funerals in the home’s parlor is where the term “funeral parlor comes from.”

President Lincoln was killed in 1865. Due to his nearly nationwide popularity, heads of state decided to bring his body on a nationwide funeral procession. Since this trip took several weeks, his body had to be embalmed to slow decomposition.

People all around the U.S. thought, “If embalming is good enough for Lincoln, then it’s good enough for us!” and embalming became more widespread.

Funeral Homes as a Business

With embalming popularity growing, people were given the opportunity to expand their funeral traditions outside the home. Bodies were more easily transported and displayed, so funerals could be held later after death, allowing for more people to attend. Since more people attended, it was easier to host the service in a neutral place.

The Bucktrout family in Virginia witnessed a growing need for places to host funerals, and rose to the occasion. Originally coffin and cabinet manufacturers, this family expanded their business to include funeral home services, just like those we have today. The Bucktrout family opened America’s first modern funeral home.

Funeral homes were labeled as such because undertakers, or funeral directors as we now call them, usually operated their business out of their home. Family owned and operated funeral homes were pretty much the only option, but the market continued to grow and the businesses needed to expand.

Official Funeral Homes

The 1900s saw even more growth in the funeral home business. This large expansion called for formal training for funeral directors in order to streamline the business model and help the businesses grow by changing the conversation. The National Funeral Directors Association was formed in the early 1900s to help consumers view the members as professionals.

Coffin makers, florists, life insurance agencies and other connected fields also blossomed, helping funeral homes become what they are today. By 1920, there were around 24,469 funeral homes in the United States, showing a 100% growth in less than 80 years.

Diversity In Death

Like many other United States institutions, funeral homes grew out of Christian roots. Immigration laws began to relax in the 1960s, and other cultures slowly became more accepted. This influx of new beliefs created a market for funerals, and once again funeral homes stepped up. They began offering services for other ethnic and religious groups from Vietnamese and Eastern European to Buddhism and Hinduism.

Plinton Curry Funeral Home Continues the Tradition

Plinton Curry Funeral Home continues the funeral home tradition by serving the Newark, NJ area from 411 West Broad St, Westfield NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Ave, Somerset NJ 08873. You can reach us at 908-232-6869 or 732-469-3300. Please feel free to call or visit with any questions; we are happy to serve you and your family.

Different Types of Cremations

Mon, 14 May 2018 04:00:00 GMT

From cost effectiveness and eco-friendly benefits to flexibility in choices and timing, there’s a reason why cremations are becoming so popular in Edison, NJ and around the world!

But did you know there are multiple types of cremation? Just like “whiskey” can refer to drinks from “rye” to “bourbon,” cremation is a general umbrella that covers a few different categories.

There are three main types of cremation: traditional, memorial, and direct. The main differences are in price, planning, and timeline. Read on to learn more about each type, so you can choose which one is best for you and your family.

Traditional Cremation

Traditional cremation is probably what you think of when you think cremation. They are the most similar to traditional burials in that they consist of a funeral service followed by cremation. Traditional cremations also commonly have a visitation or wake within two or three days of death.

Traditional cremations are a bit more expensive than other types, as the body is present at the funeral, wake and visitation. Having the body present means embalming and casket costs. Embalming is the process in which the body is preserved for the viewing, and funerals and visitations necessitate a casket rather than a plain cremation box or urn.

After the funeral and cremation, the ashes can be buried, entombed, scattered or displayed. Some of these options, like burial or interment, do incur more costs.

Memorial Cremation

Memorial cremation is just like traditional cremation, except the body is not present at the service.

In memorial cremation, the body is cremated right after death without a viewing or funeral, so there is no embalming or casket purchase necessary. The memorial service can be held at a later date, sometimes even weeks later, as the decomposing body is not dictating a timeline.

Sometimes the body is present in a way at the memorial in a cremation urn. Or, the family can choose to display photos of the deceased.

Usually, the remains are returned to the family right before the memorial so they can inter, scatter, or display them following the ceremony.

Memorial cremations save money on embalming and caskets, but memorial services still cost money to host and execute.

Direct Cremation

Direct cremation is cost effective and efficient. In direct cremation, the body is cremated right after death and there is no memorial or service afterward. This saves money on planning and hosting a service. The cremation itself does cost money, but the costs are generally included in one flat fee, from transportation to the cremation process.

In Conclusion

There are lots of choices when it comes to cremation, but at the end of the day, there is no right or wrong choice. It only matters what’s best for you and your family. Plinton Curry Funeral Home provides cremations in Edison, NJ and the surrounding areas from two locations: 411 West Broad Street, Westfield, NJ 07090 and 428 Elizabeth Ave, Somerset, NJ 08873. Give us a call at 732-469-3300 or 908-232-6869 to learn more.

Managing Grief: Caring for Yourself While Honoring the Ones You Loved

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 05:00:00 GMT

Managing Grief: Caring for Yourself While Honoring the Ones You Loved

Grief can be an enormous strain on our entire well-being. The way we eat, drink, love, and cope with stress, depression, anxiety, and sadness all play a big role in the state our mental health is in. Sometimes, it’s necessary to take a step back and ask yourself if you’re doing the right thing for you, and not the easiest thing. And when you start to make unhealthy choices, it’s important to learn how to be strong enough to make changes.

If you have recently experienced the loss of a loved one, these words of guidance may help you cope with the pain you are feeling.

Know That Grief Comes in Waves

It’s important is to remember that every person’s grieving process is different . For many people, grief is less of a strict process and more like riding through waves of emotions. You may feel surprisingly upbeat one day and be overwhelmed by sadness the next, and this is all normal. Try to take it one day at a time and focus on the good days, rather than dwelling on the bad ones.

If you are having a gloomy day, try to figure out what your mind and body need to cope. Maybe that means going outside for a walk or staying in and curling up with your favorite book. Know that at some point, your waves of grief will be farther apart, but for now, it helps to know what to do when they hit.

Remember to Be Kind to Yourself

You may be tempted to turn to alcohol or other coping mechanisms. Take a pause and ask yourself if this is the healthiest choice for you. Using drugs and alcohol may seem like a good way to numb the pain but they will only make stress and anxiety worse. Channel your grief into healthier habits, such as yoga or meditation , to help you reflect on your loss while calming your body and mind. Reach out to friends or take your dog for a walk. Get as much rest as you can and don’t forget to nourish your body with water and healthy foods.

Learn to Let Go of Guilt

When you lose a loved one, you are flooded with emotions. One of the most common emotions associated with mourning is guilt . You may feel regret that you did not spend more time with your loved one or that you took them for granted. It’s even possible to feel guilty for being alive when they are gone. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings, learn from them and release the negativity they can bring to your life. Find ways to pay tribute your loved one, like putting together a photo collage or writing about some of your favorite memories. Stay focused on the elements you can control to help heal your emotions.

Celebrate Small Victories

It often takes time to feel any semblance of normal after the death of a loved one. You may feel less motivated to get things done in your everyday life. Know that this is OK. Don’t be too hard on yourself on days you feel too overwhelmed to tackle your “to-do” lists. Instead, reflect on what you have been able to accomplish so far. At the end of each of these days, make a list of all that you have done, rather than what remains to be done and celebrate these small steps toward feeling like yourself again.

Grieving the death of someone you love is a personal process but that doesn’t mean you have to face this alone. You can take steps to take care of yourself without feeling like your loved one is forgotten. Keep them in your mind and heart and release any negativity. Remember to breathe, be patient with yourself and eventually, you will be able to pick up the pieces of happiness again.

Photo via Unsplash

Helping Your Child With Special Needs Mourn

Thu, 28 Sep 2017 04:00:00 GMT

Death is an unfortunate part of life. However, that doesn’t make it any less devastating when you lose someone you love. You have to learn how to live without that person in your life. It’s hard, but as an adult, you can handle it.

But when your child with special needs tries to process this grief, things can go wrong. Children of any ability have difficulty understanding the death of a loved one. The special needs can make things worse. Thankfully, there are things you can do to help your child with special needs mourn the loss. You can begin by understanding how grief works.

What Grief Can Look Like

No matter what ability or disability people have, they tend to grieve the same way. As PsychCentral explains, these are the five stages of grief:

Denial: Refusing to believe the loved one has died at all.

Anger: Getting upset that the person has passed away. This can include guilt for not passing away as well.

Bargaining: Trying to offer something to bring the person back.

Depression: Getting sad, anxious, and depressed because the loved one is no longer here.

Acceptance: Finally coming to terms with the loss and getting back on track with life.

A child with special needs might not follow all five steps in that order. While it depends on the specific disorder or condition, some might start with bargaining or anger. Expect your child to experience some version of the five steps.

Helping Children Cope With Loss

Given the problems with the five steps such as depression, some people may consider not explaining the death to the child. Ultimately, that’s a bad idea. Even with having special needs, your child will eventually find out — and be understandably upset that they were kept in the dark.

There are some tips for explaining the death to a child with special needs:

Prepare your child by explaining what death is early on. This could help them process the loss more easily.

Use the word “sad” when describing the passing. This is much easier for the child to understand than terms like “grief” or “mourning.”

Also, be honest. Explain that the loved one died, not that they “went to sleep” or some other euphemism.

As the days pass by, your child with special needs will go through those five stages. Teacher.org explains several ways to help this grieving process , such as:

Be patient with the child. They will likely get upset or even furious, but they need to go through these feelings to finally reach acceptance.

Spend time with them, more than you normally do. Being present can do wonders when the child mourns the death.

Share happy memories of the child engaging with the loved one. Talking about them can help the child feel better.

Preparing For Your Own Passing

Talking about death will inevitably make you think about your own mortality. Because you have a child with special needs, there are a few things you need to do so your child can have a bright future even if you are gone.

If your child requires a caregiver, Redfin recommends searching for a new one . Start by listing the qualities your child needs in a caregiver. This will help when you interview potential candidates.

Of course, you need to pay for everything. That’s hard when you’re not there to earn a paycheck. That’s why you need a solid estate plan as soon as possible. Collect your personal information and visit a financial planner to see how you can invest for your child’s future.

Be Honest But Gentle

Remember that your child with special needs deserves to know about the death. Explain things gently, and be ready to support your child when they go through the five stages of grief. Then make sure your family situation can support your child even after your own death. This can help protect your child just when they need it the most.

Coping With Grief: How To Handle The Loss Of A Spouse

Fri, 07 Jul 2017 04:00:00 GMT

In your vows you say “til death do us part,” but you are never truly prepared for it. You’ve been married for years, experienced life’s ups and downs, and grown old together. Suddenly they are gone and you are overcome with emotion. There are a hundred ways for you to feel after the loss of your spouse, and those feelings may take weeks or even years to fade.

The fact that there’s no right way to handle grief makes it harder to deal with in some cases, as it can make you feel lost and alone. In general, the emotional stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, although they may not arrive in that order, and you may feel more than one of those emotions at a time. It’s normal, but it can take a toll on your physical and mental health if you don’t have the right tools to deal with it.

Fortunately, there are some simple ways you can cope with a loss to make it to the other side. Here are a few of the best.

Be kind to yourself

Keep in mind that grieving is hard on the body, mind, and soul, and it takes some time to get through it. There is no time limit or one particular way to cope, so it’s important to find something that works for you and remember to be patient.

Consider getting help

It’s never easy to go through something like the loss of a spouse alone, so consider getting help from a therapist or counselor, or seek out a service dog. Animals are wonderful aides where grief, depression, and anxiety are concerned and can help you relax and overcome stress. Consider joining a grief support group for seniors. You may find that talking with others who have experienced the exact loss you are going through brings a sense of comfort and peace.

Get creative

Art therapy is a wonderful way to cope with grief, and the great thing about it is that it can encompass many different areas depending on what you enjoy doing. Gardening, singing, dancing, painting, and writing are just a few examples of things you can do that will allow you a creative outlet and help you cope with your emotions. In addition, many of these suggestions can be performed by people of all ages and abilities – you don’t have to by a spry teen to put paint to canvas or sing your favorite tunes.

Practice self care

Ensuring that your needs are met is important during this time, no matter how much you may feel like climbing into bed and ignoring the world. Find a form of exercise that you enjoy and can do regularly. Water aerobics is a great option because in addition to its low impact and physical benefits, being in the water can be calming and soothing. Eat a good balanced diet and get adequate rest. Both are necessary for your body and mind. Make sure you get to bed at a decent hour, don’t skip meals, and get in a workout every day, even if it’s just to take the dog for a long walk or go get the mail. Keep in mind that sometimes self-care requires help from others, especially if your spouse was a critical component of ensuring daily chores were complete. You may consider hiring a housekeeper to keep up with chores or ask a friendly neighbor to swing by and get your dog when they go on their weekly walks.

Allow yourself to feel

It’s tempting to want to push away the negative memories and emotions after a loss, but it’s important to face your feelings rather than trying to numb them with alcohol or other substances, which can only make things worse. Allow yourself to feel everything that comes naturally and learn – with the help of a counselor – how to handle those things one at a time. On those days when the grief and loneliness feel like too much to bear, rather than retreating to bed, bring out old photos and reminisce on all the beautiful memories and moments. Your spouse may not be here physically, but they are forever in your heart.

The grieving process looks different for everyone, so remember to stay true to yourself. Take as much time as you need, reach out for help when you need it, and be kind to yourself.

Hiring a housekeeper - https://www.care.com/c/stories/10231/the-housekeeping-guide-the-cost-of-housekeeping-services/
To face your feelings - http://www.webmd.com/balance/normal-grieving-and-stages-of-grief#1

Grief

Tue, 21 Mar 2017 04:00:00 GMT

Most people have no concept of the overpowering nature of grief until they face it on a personal level. They most likely encountered family or friends who were grieving and wondered why they were so upset, because they had no concept of the emotional pain these people were experiencing.

Grief is a very individual and personal emotion. Much of this pain is a factor of the things we might have wished had been different, better, or more in that relationship. It is also impacted by the dreams and expectations of a future that is now going to be very different than we had expected.

Here are 3 reasons why grief is so challenging and some suggestions on how to deal with it.

1. We were never taught how to deal with the emotional pain of loss.

This is a subject that we have covered in previous articles in some detail. Most of us have spent a lifetime learning how to get things, but we were never taught anything on an emotional value when it comes to losing them.

Parents do not generally sit their children at a table and explain to them how to deal with loss. They are so concerned with protecting us from painful events, it never occurs to them that this is information that we need to know. In all likelihood, their parents never thought of this either. Our parents can only pass on to us what they know. When it comes to dealing with loss, more often than not, the information that they do pass on to us is actually “misinformation.”

We call these things misinformation because they really do nothing to deal with that emotional pain. It is advice that speaks to our logic and intellect, but grief is emotional, rather than intellectual. More than anything, the things we learn at an early age are designed to make us “socially appropriate” and easier for others to accept.

Again, this “misinformation” is not passed on in list form, but rather based on things we hear from our parents when we are dealing with emotionally painful events. They become part of our belief system because they are so often repeated. They include such things as:

• Don’t Feel Bad (Hearing this rarely makes you feel better!)

• Replace The Loss (Often, with the loss of a pet or toy, this is the “solution” for dealing with our tears.)

• Grieve Alone (“If you are going to cry, go to your room.”)

• Grief Just takes Time (”The comment often made when we ask how long this will hurt. In truth, time just goes by and you become accustomed to feeling this emotional pain.)

• Be Strong (Big boys and girls don’t cry! We are often told we need to be strong for others.)

• Keep Busy (If you are busy, you won’t have time to feel sorry for yourself!)

None of these are helpful in helping us deal with the emotional pain that is grief.

2. Our friends and family tend to provide less support than we expect.

This is something that we at the Grief Recovery Institute hear from grievers on a regular basis. There are multiple reasons why this is the case.

The most obvious one is that most of them have had little or no education in how to deal with their own loss. That being the case, it is difficult for them to offer any more assistance than suggesting things similar to the misinformation above!

It is possible that those friends and family members are grieving this loss as well, or that this loss reminds them of another loss that they experienced. Every relationship is different, even within the same family, which means that everyone’s grief is also different. When someone is dealing with their own feelings of grief, they are less able to offer meaningful support to others. It is not uncommon for people in the same family to feel that others are not hurting as much, simply because they are not displaying their grief in the same way.

Yet another factor is that, while those around you may have shared experiences related to that relationship lost, you each have your own memories of that event, which may be different. It is not uncommon to hear people sharing memories and each remembering things a bit differently. The reality of what happened is not what touches us on an emotional level. It is our perception of what happened that becomes our reality. As a result, we can each grieve certain memories in an entirely different way. That is why things that may be grief issues for one family member may not seem meaningful on any level to another.

There is also a tendency within some families to avoid mentioning the name of someone who has died, because they feel that to do so will only upset you. Their avoidance can seem to you like they have forgotten your loss, which can hurt as well. With no one really having the proper tools to deal with the emotional pain of grief, it can feel like you are the only one in true pain.

3. Grief is cumulative!

When we experience a new loss, this tends to stir up all of the other grief issues that are still lingering from past losses. If you have not taken action to effectively move through and beyond previous grief experiences, they will stay with you no matter how hard you try to suppress those feelings. As a result, you end up not just dealing with the current loss, but past ones as well.

This does not mean that your situation is hopeless and that all of this accumulated grief will be with you forever. You can take effective action to move beyond the pain of loss. This will put you in the position to enjoy past memories, without being overwhelmed with regrets and other sad feelings.

Grief is the normal and natural reaction to any change you experience in life. You don’t need to be “fixed” to feel better. You simply need direction and education on how to “recover.” This is the focus of The Grief Recovery Method, as presented in “The Grief Recovery Handbook.” Recovery from loss is a choice, and that choice is yours!

Memorialization Options

Mon, 30 Jan 2017 05:00:00 GMT

Memorialization Options for Cremated Remains

SYMBOLIC ASHES CAN BE A POWERFUL STATEMENT

Old-style funeral homes are extinct. It really is a case of adapt or miss out in this business. If you’re noticing more and more clients choosing cremation over burial, you’re not alone. Some families still opt for the complete burial, but cremation has overtaken burials in North America. Therefore, more people are choosing powerful new ways of memorializing their loved ones’ cremated remains.

Whether it be a symbolic amount of ashes in a modest urn, or an elaborate piece of cremation jewelry to honor their loved one, this aspect of our business is growing and cannot be ignored.

BE PROACTIVE: ASK FAMILIES IF THEY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A CREMATION KEEPSAKE

With more clients choosing cremation, the need for caskets and somber rituals is going by the wayside. To stay relevant in people’s lives, we must follow their lead. Some folks may not be aware of the wide range of options available when it comes to cremation memorial keepsakes. Approach the family gently. Explain that safely housing the cremated remains of a loved one in beautiful cremated memorials is a fitting and lasting tribute, and a moving way to keep their memory close forever.

CREMATION JEWELRY

Cremation jewelry for ashes has gained immense popularity in recent years. In Victorian times it was called mourning jewelry and did not hold actual remains; it was a bit more symbolic. As a way to memorialize a loved one, cremation jewelry really can’t be beaten. These are portable, small and discrete tributes that allow the wearer to keep a small portion of their loved one near. There are so many styles to choose from, and it’s our job to inform families about all the options.

THE OPTIONS FOR CREMATED MEMORIALS ARE ENDLESS

A company like Eturnal Memorials employs skilled artists and designers to work closely with families to create final resting places that really speak about the person lost. They can use photos, drawings or descriptions to craft anything imaginable. It’s a fully interactive process that can custom design 3D printed urns or remains keepsakes in a matter of weeks. 3D printing allows customers to memorialize their loved one in any way that resonates best.

CUDDLE STONES

Cuddle Stones are small (palm of your hand) stones that hold a small amount of cremains. They enable mourners to carry a small piece of their loved one around surreptitiously. Cuddle stones can be a comforting and tangible way to keep memories alive. They come in many colours and are an exciting addition to any suite of options you can offer.

3D CRYSTAL TRIBUTES

Eturnal Memorials can also take a photo and create a 3D crystal tribute lit by LED light. They are tasteful, hyper-realistic tributes that fit perfectly on a desk or mantelpiece. It’s the interactive and customer focused nature of these cremated memorials that are impressive. More and more of your clients are expecting and demanding these kinds of products and levels of service.

THOSE IN MOURNING CAN’T BE EXPECTED TO BE AWARE OF ALL THE OPTIONS

It’s important to remember that families may not be aware of the options involved in cremated memorials. Do your research and let them know. Some companies have even branched into services that rocket remains into space. Jewelry, lawn statues, benches, the sky's the limit. Don’t get left behind.

Importance of personalizing a funeral

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 04:00:00 GMT

A funeral service provides an opportunity to memorialize a loved one in a specific, formal way. Any such service will help mourners to express their grief, but a personalized one will have a much greater impact.

You’ve probably attended a funeral service during which it became obvious that the officiant or other person leading the proceedings didn’t know the deceased very well, if at all. Perhaps you’ve been to a funeral where the entire focus was on religious rituals to the exclusion of anything personal.

Being a participant in such an impersonal ceremony can be unnerving and unsettling. Although you might value the religious aspect of a sacred ceremony, or understand that an officiant might be unacquainted with those he eulogizes, it doesn’t help or comfort you in your grief. At a time of such deep emotion and pain, you want to talk about your loved one and hear others talking about him, as well.

It can be healing to share stories and reveal details about the life of a person who has recently passed on. When you talk about him in the past tense, you begin to accept that he’s gone. When you tell others about the way you feel, you acknowledge that there are a number of emotions with which you must cope. You talk, you laugh, and you cry. You release some of your fear and pain through communicating the story of your loved one.

For this reason, it’s important to personalize the funeral. Not only the service itself, but the viewing, the time during which you receive visitors, should be as personal as possible. Display photos, play her favorite music, and tell the funny stories she loved, even if they’re about her.

Personalize as many details of the viewing and service as possible. Many families bring mementos to the funeral home and place them in the casket. Many others make collages of their favorite photos, or create a tribute video that plays during the viewing hours, for visitors to see. Personalized funeral stationery is also an excellent way to not only honor your loved one, but also provide mourners with a keepsake from the funeral or memorial service.

Through talking about your loved one, telling the story of his passing and re-telling the story of his life, you make his death a reality. Although you’ll express some grief and receive some comfort during a less-personal proceeding, you’ll benefit immensely from having the opportunity to talk about and memorialize your loved one in specific detail.

If family are unable to attend a funeral in person to share those special moments, one thing you may want to consider is having the funeral webcast. This way, family and friends who cannot attend the service in person can attend virtually over the internet and still get the closure they desire.

Personalizing a funeral to be as unique as your loved one is important. You’re mourning one individual, a person who had definite likes and dislikes, attitudes and opinions, strong points and not-so-strong ones, talents, skills, hobbies, work and dreams. A funeral that ignores the unique combination of attributes that made up that one individual is much less than it has the potential to be. At Plinton Curry our motto is "It's not just a day in a lifetime, but a lifetime in a single day" so we should make this day a day to remember.